What if the problems in our lives were like dragons - small at first, but growing bigger the more we ignore them?
This is the premise of the delightful children´s story There is No Such Thing as a Dragon by Jack Kent. In the story, a little boy named Billy Bixbee encounters a kitten-sized dragon in his room and joyfully interacts with him. Excitedly, he tells his mom about the dragon, but she dismisses it with the words, "There is no such thing as a dragon." Billy believes his mother and starts to ignore the growing dragon. His mom sees the dragon as well. In fact, it eats Billy´s pancakes, gets in the way of the housework, and causes general chaos. Despite all of this, Billy´s mom stubbornly insists that there is no dragon, even as the enormous creature makes daily life increasingly difficult.
The dragon eventually grows so large that it carries the entire house away, forcing Billy´s dad to search the neighborhood for his displaced family. When he finds them, they wave from an upstairs window of their dragon-borne home. He asks his family how this happened, and Billy starts to explain that it was the dragon. Yet his mom still tries to interrupt to say "there is no such thing...." However Billy is also interrupting her and proclaims, "There IS a dragon," and he starts to pet him. Instantly the dragon shrinks and is soon the size of a kitten again.
Now, you may wonder what does this whimsical tale have to do with us?
We all face problems and isn´t it true that we often try to ignore them as much as we could? Here are some examples of these kinds of dragons:
Personal Life
Avoiding difficult conversations, like differing future goals (e.g., "We’ll figure it out later")
Unspoken resentment or lack of communication between partners
Pretending infidelity or emotional distance isn’t a problem
Stress or burnout: "I’m just busy, it’s normal."
Persistent sadness or anxiety: "I’m fine, it’s just a phase."
Physical symptoms: "It’s probably nothing serious."
Allowing toxic friendships to persist: "That’s just how they are."
Professional Life
Unfulfilling jobs: "Work is supposed to be hard, right?"
Conflict with coworkers or bosses that is swept under the rug
Suppressing creative aspirations: "I’ll pursue my passion later."
Family Dynamics
Ignoring children’s behavioral or emotional changes: "They’re just being moody."
Not addressing generational trauma
Avoiding discussions about aging parents care needs
Living Abroad
Culture shock: "I just need more time to adapt."
Denying feelings of isolation or homesickness: "I should be grateful for this experience."
Unresolved grief: Missing family milestones, deaths, or significant events back home but not processing the loss.
Guilt about uprooting children: Ignoring your own doubts about whether moving abroad was best for them.
These are just a few things we tell ourselves, but deep down, we know the truth. And as it is in the story, sometimes in might happen that you would like to address a situation, yet the people around you are telling you that there is no problem at all. That this is all in your head, that this is all made up. Of course, this is a coping mechanism to deal with something that clearly dosen´t make any sense, that we haven´t encountered before and that is scary and one way to deal with it, is to ignore it. Look at the effort Billy´s mom made to convince herself that there is no dragon. She made more pancakes, crawled through windows to avoid the dragon, and eventually lived in a displaced home carried away by it. Yet nothing could convince her that the dragon was real.
Here is the fascinating part: the moment Billy acknowledges that there IS a dragon, the dragon stopped growing and even shrank to its original size, so his mom pets it and says, "I don´t mind dragons THIS size,... Why did it have to grow so BIG?" to which Billy answers "I don´t know but I think it just wanted to be noticed."
Is it possible that the problems in our lives wouldn´t be as big, would indeed be manageable if we would notice them, address them? Acknowledgement is power. By naming our problems, we take the first step toward resolving them. We shift from being passive victims to active participants. It´s not always easy, but it can be transformative.
This is where coaching comes in. In a coaching session, you´re given the space and support to name your dragons. You can speak openly about the issues that bother you, without fear of judgement or dismissal. That act alone - saying aloud what´s been troubling you - often brings relief. It´s like petting the dragon: it stops growing and starts shrinking.
Coaching helps you see your challenges clearly and find strategies to address them and to figure out how to move forward.
COACHING because addressing the problems in our lives is the first step.
In coaching, we create a safe space to name those dragons and find ways to shrink them. Remember, as Billy´s dragon reminds us, sometimes they just want to be noticed. What dragons in your life are waiting for you to acknowledge them?
YOU CAN´T DEFEAT A PROBLEM IF YOU CAN´T DEFINE IT.
- John C. Maxwell -
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